FIRST THINGS FIRST: YOU ARE ENOUGH.
We know there's a lot of pressure. We know that parents, school, colleges, work, and society expect a lot (sometimes too much) from you. We know how overwhelming it can be, how unfair it can seem, and how frustrating those expectations are (hint: we're teens too, trust us, we know), and we are here for you. We're also here to remind you that you are already enough, and you don't have to prove yourself to anyone but you, which you've already done just by surviving this long.
This pressure often makes us feel overwhelmed, and it puts a huge amount of pressure on us to be perfect. Perfect? Perfect is impossible, and reaching for perfection is only going to tire us out and take an enormous amount of unnecessary time and energy. We shouldn't, and can't, always aim for perfection. We also need to take into account our emotional and mental health and its effects on our happiness. That being said, we still have schoolwork, or college prospects, or jobs, or general responsibilities. This is why we need to find the balance between mental wellness, and getting our work done (you can find more about this balance in our "Finding a Balance and Purpose to Your Life" info packet).
*quick disclaimer: this is NOT meant to encapsulate or talk about anxiety disorders. For that, please go to our "Understanding Anxiety Disorders" info packet.
First, here are some general tips for coping with stress:
time management! Check out our time management info packet on some techniques to try. These can help you deal with the inevitable work you have to do in a more organized and efficient way.
meditation and breathing! Affirmation meditation can make you feel more prepared to take on your challenges (and turn distress into eustress), and breathing techniques can help you calm down in the moment and reset your state of mind. Here is our meditation info packet!
5-4-3-2-1 technique! 5 things you can hear, 4 things you can see, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste- this helps ground you when you feel yourself spiraling or panicking, which is a common reaction to stress
positive self-talk and gratefulness! This can come in the form of talking to yourself in the mirror, affirmation meditation, gratefulness journaling (writing 3-5 things you're grateful for every day), or just giving more compliments to yourself and others! Our confidence info packet has some awesome recommendations for building your self-esteem, which can help you feel more prepared to take on stress
journaling! This can also help you be more self-aware and understand what is stressing you out, why, and what you can do about it
Then, one of the best ways to start creating this balance is to learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy stress, and then find sources of each within your life.
Positive Stress
AKA "good stress" or "eustress"
- This stress basically comes from a "fun challenge"
How to recognize it:
- “Eustress helps us stay motivated, work toward goals, and feel good about life,” (Clinical psychiatrist Dr. Michael Genovese)
- "you feel confident, adequate, and stimulated by the challenge you experience from the stressor."
Positive results:
"Emotionally, eustress can result in positive feelings of contentment, inspiration, motivation, and flow.
Psychologically, eustress helps us build our self-efficacy, autonomy, and resilience.
Physically, eustress helps us build our body (e.g., through completing a challenging workout)."
- Examples: getting a promotion at work, starting a new extracurricular or hobby, and sometimes even figuring out your sexuality, can all be examples of eustress as long as they don't overwhelm you and you have the resources to tackle these challenges
Ways to induce and start to feel more comfortable with eustress:
- Push yourself out of your comfort zone, in anything (I've started exploring clothing and shoes a lot more, which brings me out of my comfort zone in a safer and less risky way than other things might)
- Learn to set challenging, yet realistic goals (making these surrounding something you're motivated or passionate about can make it easier to create the will to rise up to the challenge. This business was definitely a reach for us, and DEFINITELY out of our comfort zone, but we did it anyway because it's fun and we knew it could happen if we worked hard enough).
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
- Nelson Mandela
Being nervous, or even scared, can be an amazing opportunity for growth and to prove to yourself that you can do more than you thought. If you manage to change your attitude towards your fears, you'll get so much more out of them! Even if you don't feel like that's possible, look back at a time when you were extremely nervous about something- a presentation, a speech, a confrontation, etc. Chances are, you thought of something you ended up doing! That alone proves that you're stronger than you thought. If you didn't, then realize that even deciding not to do something, or "quitting", or recognizing that something isn't within your current comfort zone, takes a lot of courage. Be proud either way and learn from it!
Negative Stress
AKA distress
- This is what most of us probably think about when thinking of stress
- Contrary to eustress, distress "can make you feel overwhelmed because your resources (physically, mentally, emotionally) are inadequate to meet the demands you’re facing"
- Examples: unhealthy conflict in relationships or friendships, the death of a loved one, or an overwhelming and over-demanding workload at school/work
Ways to cope with negative stress:
- That's what this post is about! Recognizing and understanding it, and then being introspective and using time management techniques to either get rid of it or turn it into good stress, is exactly what we hope this post will accomplish. Meditation, which you can find information on in our "Meditation" blog, is also suuuper helpful to deal with stress and realize that you are worth so much more than what your grades look like or how many projects you take on at work.
Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't.
- Steve Maraboli
Stop stressing over what you can't control! That's negative stress. Instead, figure out what you can control and focus on that.
Here's an infographic from the National Institute of Mental Health about the difference between stress and anxiety:
If you'd like to print out this info packet, the easiest way is to print this google doc! FYI: It doesn't have all the links and related info that are on the online versions: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VOlDTsJbW2XQER0UMXFy-MOVnYE-3u_0ueLk2Gz4HNs/edit
Commenti